At this particular moment I think about what I should do, what I want to do and what I should think. Basically stuck in a way of living. I always liked a challenge and living the good life at the same time. I never really took much effort in achieving stability, I was able to survive, barely did anything at all, apart from some of those times I just had a full time job.
Now I'm back to a point of having nothing. I sometimes wonder if it's laziness or faith or whatever. Or just the fact that I came in a situation where physically and also mentally due to the tiredness I wasn't able to do anything at all. And after winning this challenge, I'm still somehow not able to find that way of living that actually suits me. Not to mention the huge financial drainage, which also isn't very beneficial for the general mental wellbeing of a person.
It seems like the world has changed completely in a decade. A decade ago, I just would've just spend some 5 hours of gaming and working time a day on my computer, and every once in a while I did some packing for a moment and went to the post office. Not much exciting, but I had my decent dime, especially considering the time I spent on it.
Now everything is so different, profit potential of finding something and selling it again is completely gone. Now it's just merely about investing huge numbers, being creative, and well having the funds to exploit that creativity. I had plenty of ideas and business plans in the past, but why on earth every time you generate more wealth, you end up with business plans far above the budget? Not to mention a partial investment I made of something significant, wasting space in my house as well. Why was I unable to come up with a plan which suits my budget? Or just no plan at all, and just buy a bit more cookies?
I don't really know any answers to my questions, probably it's more a case of not wanting to know them. I do know strive for perfection in general, and also efficiency (/laziness?), maybe even some socially awkwardness as well, probably causing this unmotivated way of living. But at the same time, I really like challenges, taking the effort of creating that something particularly well thought about approach in achieving what I want.
Just do be simple: I wouldn't mind driving a forklift truck 8 hours per day as my daily challenge for the time being. Why did I come up with the previous 413 words, and say this. And say It actually once again: I wouldn't mind driving a forklift truck 8 hours per day as my daily challenge for the time being.
And yet again, mentioning this simplistic concept, I once again it's just another completely unavailable opportunity.
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