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List of forums -> Your suggestions and bug reports -> ENGLISH problems and suggestions |
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| mrstickball we would really appreciate ur contribution  |
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| Some thoughts on correct/better English:
Office Main Page: "The indicated minimum requirements are necessary, but not enough to achieve the 100% effectiveness of the personnel. The final effectiveness is a function of three indices (number of employees, qualification of imployees and quality of computers)and has to correspond with the level of administrative load of the office." ...should be... "Indicated minimum requirements are necessary, but not sufficient to achieve 100% effectiveness of employees. Final effectiveness is a function of three variables (number of employees, qualification of employees and quality of computers) and has to correspond with the level of administrative load of the office." The line "Number of controlled subdivisions" should read something like "30 (944 employees)" instead of "30 ( 944 wrk. )". There's no need for an abbreviation here, as there is enough space. You also need to use brackets ( ) consistently. Sometimes you use spaces, sometimes you don't. Producing Industry (e.g. Mill): "The principal cause of the drop in the efficiency of the subdivision during the last upgrade was the lack of the top manager’s qualification. As of now the qualification is expected to be enough." ...should be... "The primary cause for the drop in efficiency of the subdivision during the last update, was a lack in top manager's qualification. As of now your qualification level is expected to be sufficient." You use the article "the" way too often and using the word "upgrade" here is inconsistent with the usage of "update" in other places. Store Main Page: "Your store service level is very high, however particular customers often complain about excessive obtrusiveness of store assistants." This sentence by itself is correct, but the meaning of it is totally unclear to the user. Note: Qualification and amount of employees is set to an optimal level in this store. "The principal cause of the drop in the efficiency of the subdivision during the last upgrade was law personnel efficiency. As of now the main problems with personnel are expected to have been solved." ...should be... "The primary cause of the drop in efficiency of the subdivision during the last update was low employee efficiency. As of now the main problems with employees are expected to be solved." You should stick to using the word employee instead of personnel, because otherwise you mix words with the same meaning in different places. Also at the end of the sentence you don't use past progressive, because the problem is expected to be solved in the future (the next turn). Store Location You mix "m²" and "sq.m.", another instance to be more consistent. The listing of the districts is somehow strange. "Outskirts" and "Suburb" can have the same meaning in general. The English language has about 300,000 words, which is a lot more than German for example. This results in many different words with the same meaning. "Urban fringe" and "Municipal area" are more complicated variants with the same meaning as well. Also the term "fashionable district" doesn't exist as far as I know. The list would look better this way in my opinion: 1. "Exclusive residential area" or "Villa quarter" 2. "City centre" or "Downtown" (Downtown is American English) 3. "Residential area" is fine 4. "Outskirts" is fine but can have the same meaning as "Suburb" 5. Instead of "Suburb" use "Urban fringe" or "Suburban municipality" which makes the differentiation to "Outskirts" more clear Store Marketing Page: Instead of "not less xx.xx$ per week for TV-advertising or xx in the number of contacts" write ""not less than xx.xx$ per week for TV-advertising or alternatively xx in number of contacts". Also in marketing/advertising the correct term is "reach" and not "number of contacts". Store Trade Hall: When writing "Purchase volume" you should also write "Purchase price" instead of "Purchasing price". Instead of "Price per week" just write "Price" consistent with the other two columns and instead write "Weekly city average". You write "View city market" but "Go to marketing reports". Instead use "View..." in both instances. General: "required according to the technology" should be "required according to technology level" "at the moment of update" should be "at the time of last update". I would specifically say last update here, to make it clear to new users, that this information is a review and no preview. "XXX operates with maximum efficiency" should be "XXX operates at maximum efficiency" "You can hire more workers." should be "You can hire more employees." Also be more consistent with the usage of words. You write "Number of workers" but then on the other hand you write "Qualification of employees". Use employees everywhere for consistency and better understanding. These are only very few examples as there is a LOT of improvement possible with the English version to improve game quality and give new users a better understanding of game mechanics. There are also quite a lot of spelling mistakes in the wiki and game help which do not necessarily hinder the understanding of the user, but they definitely lower the quality of the game. You should really allow a person with a higher level of English or even a native speaker to do the translation  If you need help with improving the English version and there is some way I can help you work on it let me know. I study computer science and marketing and have done minor studies in law. |
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List of forums -> Your suggestions and bug reports-> ENGLISH problems and suggestions | |
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